By Alex Marshall, Editor, Spotlight on the Region
The classic image of kids and city life is of reckless, unescorted children playing in the street. For better and for worse, youngsters on urban blocks used to play stick ball on the asphalt and hang around street corners, getting into trouble but getting into life as well.
As most people probably realize, that's generally not the case anymore, at least among middle class and up parents. As a Brooklyn dad myself, I can attest that city parenting these days often consists of arranging playdates and escorting your child to African dance, karate, soccer and swimming lessons - all geared to the Pre-K set. Just like in the suburbs, I suspect. What's lacking is unstructured play time with other children, with the big exception of playground time. The saving grace of New York City parenting and kid life are the playgrounds, because they do provide a place for children to bounce against one another without much direct parenting involvement. I love New York City playgrounds, and their virtues are worthy of a completely separate essay.
Still, there is a difference between a playground and a street corner. For one thing, playgrounds, with their single gate, always-latched entries and jungle gyms with rubber floors, have become cage-like and womb-like in their protectivity of children from both potential intruders and scraped knees. You have to look elsewhere for truly unstructured play.
As luck would have it, my wife and I live in a converted warehouse that has some low-income housing built across from it, fronting on a barren asphalt parking lot. There are children playing in this parking lot often, virtually all of them coming from the low-income housing. These kids, ages two to 15 or so, play in a self-governing universe, without parents. By design or default, unstructured play has become the domain of the less affluent.
Lately we've been throwing our four-and-a-half year old son Max into this universe, with delightful results. We are not yet willing to allow him to play unsupervised, so one of us tends to sit on a nearby bench, watching but not intruding. No other parents sit and watch, so we are usually the sole grown-up witness to the activity. What you see is the ability of kids still to play, without fancy equipment, without direction.
A few weeks ago he cadged a cardboard mailer from me, which a book had been delivered in. He and the kids converted it into a Frisbee-like devise, and amused themselves for a good hour and a half flinging it around. On another recent day a large cardboard box that we were throwing out became a crib for a pretend baby. While these things went on, other kids rode scooters and skateboards, and gossiped and ran. I think Max gets something crucial from this sort of play, an experience of freedom, and of handling of the world on his own. For now, this is a rare and valuable thing.
As these things go, I now see evidence everywhere of this play deficit. New York Times columnist Nicolas Kristof wrote recently how the radius of children's play has shrunk drastically since 1970. The Times also recently had an article about a street block in the Bronx that is closed to cars during the day and opened up as a "play street." I spotted an essay on a church bulletin board by Joan Almon called "The Fear of Play" that essentially explored the same theme. So I'm not the only one noticing.
I'm told that when urban kids get older, starting at age 10 or 11, they start traversing the city on their own, including using the buses and subways, to get to their friends' apartments, schools and other activities. But that's a long time to wait.
Each era confronts its own challenges, and ours are certainly easier in many respects than those of previous generations, when urban parents confronted the possibilities of polio or even malnutrition. But while acknowledging that, it would be good if this gift of play, unstructured and relatively little supervised, could be given to more children, of all ages and incomes.













@RegionalPlan
Good for you Alex
Max will be much better off for learning visual and non-visible communication, cooperation and competition with other animals of his species.
Making do with nothing but your imagination and found objects or a ball; and creating rules that everyone adheres to, teaches us to live as we were meant to - in small bands cooperating with one another and working toward a common goal be it hunting or gathering or playing and exploring our nature as humans.
The numbing isolation of today's electronic media are stealing the essence of humanity from our children. It is our responsibility to insure that we don't alow the next generation to loose the tribal instincts that have sustained us and taken millions years to develop.
Tom Fox
This subject matter actually provided me with an excuse not to have a child for a long time. I grew up in the North woods of Wisconsin and had free reign and therefore grew up a very independent person who was not afraid to explore and also relied on her community.
So I wanted the same for my children. However, we're urbanists who enjoy a car-free lifestyle and it's hard to find a walkable community next to an expanse of nature to play in. Thus, living in the perfect location was always my excuse to prolong having a baby.
Then I realized that the problem wasn't the location, but the behavior of parents that has changed over the years. I am due with my first baby in 2 weeks and it's my goal to start changing this overprotective parenting behavior...at least in the Boston and Cambridge area.
Well said, Alex. Joan Almon, who wrote the piece you mention called "The Fear of Play," is executive director of the Alliance for Childhood, which has been advocating for more unstructured play for several years. More and more people are taking notice and taking action, including a fledging group called the New York Coalition for Play. For more info about that, e-mail me: ed@allianceforchildhood.org.
Great comments by all! Tom, I loved your well expressed comments about verbal and non verbal communication, hunter gathering societies, etc., in particular.
Megan, congrats on your new baby!
Ed, that is very interesting information about Joan and I hope I have the opportunity to make her acquaintance sometime, as well as the New York group you mentioned, the New York Coalition for Play.
I agree with Alex that free play has become almost non-existent because parents have become extremely frightened about child safety partly because of the media's relentless coverage of sensational stories. I doubt that people have become more dysfunctional than when I was growing up in the early forties in a working class neighborhood in Yonkers, NY where we headed for "the street" everyday of our lives for games, friendships, fights and adventures during our elementary school years. After school activities took over when we started junior high. They seem like golden years in retrospect, and I'm sad to hear that they are over for the younger generations.